Tonight I am heading to a work function with Rob. This morning I tried to find something to wear, you’ll never guess what I found in my wardrobe…
11 weeks ago I gave birth to a perfect, heathy little boy. He is the absolute joy and delight of my life. I love every second with him. I miss holding him when he naps in his swing, I spend way too much time staring at him once I’ve put him down at night, and I scroll through all the photos I have ever taken of him once he is asleep. And yet I still struggle with what my postpartum body looks like and that I have nothing to wear out the house.
Before I got pregnant I was in the best shape of my life. I had just finished P90X3 and was diligently focused on my nutrition. During my pregnancy I stayed active. Everyone told me the weight would just “drop off” or “melt away,” especially since I was planning on exclusively breastfeeding and I was doing yoga and PiYo. Well let me tell you, that has most certainly NOT been the case for me.
It has been both enlightening and completely frustrating. I have done lots of reading and researching about it, and gladly found out that there was not something wrong with me, since everyone seemed to think I would be back to pre-pregnancy shape in no time. Here’s a little excerpt from an article, “The Princess. The bump. Your body. How long does it really take to recover after pregnancy and birth?” from alittlefitter.com
This morning my emotions and frustrations won. I looked in the mirror, trying to find something I could just wear to my chiropractic appointment, and resigned myself to maternity leggings and a stretchy t-shirt.
My body has done something amazing, I have grown a perfect tiny human and my body is now producing his sole source of nourishment, and yet still I feel frustrated that I can’t have it all – the perfect baby AND my old body back.
I am killing my workouts, I feel stronger than ever, and yet still I feel frustrated that it doesn’t seem to be showing.
It made me take a step back and remember that my health and fitness goal for this year is to be the healthiest and happiest version of myself so that I can be the best mother and wife possible for my little family.
It is not about a number on a scale or the size of my jeans, but about living a healthy and fulfilling life.
At the end of the day I am the only one who can give my child a happy mother.
I am the only one who can give my child a healthy mother.
I am the only one who can give myself the love and self-care that allows me to be the best mother I can be.
So, tomorrow we try again… right now, however, I have to go find something to wear to tonight’s function!