August 15, 2008: I was marrying someone I deeply loved, but I was sad, angry, difficult, self-absorbed, and negative.
Very few people know [well, now a lot more are about to know] that Rob and I got “married” today, August 15, 7 years ago. We don’t consider it our wedding day (that will always be March 21, 2009 in South Africa), but the reason I bring this up – other than the fact that today is August 15 – is because I look back at how far I have come in those 7 years and I am amazed.
There is no way I can go into all the detail here, but what I can tell you is, hanging out with negative people, leaving your family, moving to a different country, trying to find your feet, trying to be liked, and changing who you are to fit in definitely takes a toll on oneself!
I was homesick, I was moody, and probably a pain in the ass. I look back a little embarrassed sometimes, but then I realize that the “decline” in my personality those year ago, has really helped me WANT to be a better human being now.
I didn’t want that to stay as that person. I was made for more than that!
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a mean or horrible person, my parents raised me well. I was just so angry, negative, and gossipy, and my standards of what is good and acceptable are so different now.
It took me AGES to realize that if I wanted to be happy, kind, patient, generous, friendly, accepting, supportive, uplifting, [and the list goes on]… I had to CHOOSE those things. I had to DO and BE those things – even when I didn’t necessarily feel like it.
I know I’ve said it before, but one of the most amazing things about coaching is that it forces you to examine yourself, to find your weaknesses, and IMPROVE upon them. Personal Development.
“Happiness is not something you find, it’s something you create.”
Nobody wants this quote to be true, but unfortunately it is. It takes hard work, so much so, that many will not choose the effort, but rather the ease of staying the same.
Anything in life worth having is worth working for.
I am always looking for self-improvement books (I love ones that address self-worth, leadership, creating value in other people’s lives, etc.) so if anyone has any recommendations I would love to hear them below